First of all, I’m tired of labels, labels, labels: Gold star, blue star, military family. We’re a Hispanic, Latino, white, immigrant family who had one child killed in Iraq, have another son considering the military and a nephew currently fighting in Afghanistan. Who cares what the terms or definitions are? Any way a person looks at it, the military will forever be a part of my life. Life will never been the same. Peace is not just a quiet moment to me. Peace has so much meaning and has become so elusive. War and deployments are something that I hate. Those words mean less sleep to me, a deep hole in my heart caused by losing Alex and the reality that others in my family now share the same fears I’ve experienced.
My nephew Randel is 23 years old and will be 24 in September. He’s a month younger than Alex who was killed in 2004. He never met his cousin but still knows all about him. He had just entered the service around the same time that his cousin was killed. He would tell me that he would be ok. Alex had said the same thing: “don’t worry, nothing will happen.”
Randel was first deployed to Korea in 2005. This is where he met his beautiful wife Mae. They married in Korea and soon after had a son born premature at five months and less than two pounds. He’s a beautiful boy named Robert.
I had the opportunity to visit South Florida this past weekend where my family resides. I spent lots of quality time with Robert and his baby sister Katia. She was born ten days after her daddy was deployed to Afghanistan and was two months premature. However, she weighed in at over five pounds. Katia is nine days old in this picture.
Dad has only seen pictures and a web broadcast of his baby girl. Mae told me she had to stop watching her husband because he was crying and that made her very sad. Mae knows about how my husband Carlos and I have grieved greatly since Alex was killed in 2004. She worries that something should happen to Randel. Mae is just recuperating from childbirth so I encourage her to relax and remember all the blessings she has. She is still bleeding despite giving birth almost two weeks ago and visiting the doctor regularly. She’s now on iron pills (that are the hugest I’ve ever seen) due to the blood loss.
Now while Randel is deployed in Afghanistan, Mae and her two children have moved in with my brother, his wife and my nephew. They live in a small three bedroom with two baths. There are dishes in the sink, laundry in the hamper and baby stuff everywhere (i.e. cribs, high chairs, formula bottles, breast pads).
My brother is considered disabled due to Parkinson’s disease. His wife works full time and very long hours at a pre-school. She’s tired and wishes she could be home to help Mae out during these early days after Katia’s birth. My nephew is in the police academy and is gone pretty much Monday – Friday. On weekends and during off time, he is working out or asleep. He loves to play with the babies and is a great uncle but doesn’t have much time to help with baby-duty.
So many changes have happened to this small part of my family in the past month. I ask Mae about the medical insurance for the baby. The baby is not on military tri-care yet. She has to figure out how to get little Katia on the plan as a dependent. This is a challenge for Mae whose first language is not English due to being born in the Philippines. She’s learning Spanish, which my family speaks, and English simultaneously. She’s doing a great job. However, she still has many challenges to face while her US-born husband is away on deployment in Afghanistan. It was somewhat easier for her to learn at Fort Hood, Texas where Robert, Randel and she lived until recently. Also, there was a support group for military wives and lots of places close by to ask questions. She stays in touch with the support group via email and calls Fort Hood regularly with questions.
There are two cars to share among the four adults. My nephew takes his car to get to and from the police academy. The other three adults depend on each other to share cars and get chauffeured back and forth to work, doctor’s appointments or the market for groceries. Florida these days are in the 90s and humid. The central air conditioning has already broken down once this summer. There’s a lot of dependence on the ceiling fans. Mae walks the babies on occasion in the double stroller around the neighborhood. The summer heat and sun require for her to be cautious that she and the kids don’t overdo it.
I feel so much over having experienced this time with my niece, grand niece and grand nephew this weekend. I feel apprehensive at all they are facing. I worry over Randel in a war zone where four of his company were killed a few days past. I feel concern over his beautiful family and all they are surviving. I pray and pray for God to take care of them all.
No comments:
Post a Comment