Introduction to my family - Part 2

We are all born to a family. Then as we grow and the years pass, we develop a new one. I'm old-fashioned. My husband and I married in 1997. We had met and created the foundation of our family in 1993. Carlos had two younger sons. Alex who was 8 and Brian who was 6 at the time I met them.




My husband is a good looking man. When I first met him, I thought Carlos was too handsome and that he knew it. Then I found out that we were both of Costa Rican ancestry. Carlos was born and raised in CR while both my parents are Costa Rican. (My Dad originally was born in Nicaragua.)




However, in the beginning despite falling in love with all three Arredondos, I didn't think our relationship would go anywhere. I opted to move to Florida to live near my Mom in 1994. Carlos decided drove me to Florida. and I had bought him a ticket to return to Boston. Carlos decided to remain with me in Florida. This was a difficult decision for him to make. He and his former wife had been going through custody matters for years. He knew it was damaging his sons. Both he and I would visit Boston at least once per year to maintain communication with his kids. My husband suffered greatly over this distance. He greatly missed them.




Finally in 2000, we moved back to Boston. The custody issues were straightened out. We became a family. Brian was now 13, and Alex was 15.




I'm so lucky that these young men have always been my friends. They have been kind and respectful to me even after we've had our differences. There has always been love shared by us all.



For four years, we lived as a family. The boys resided with their Mother in a nearby town. We kept in touch with calls and saw eachother frequently for visits. At the time, I truly wished for more not realizing how much we had.



When Alex decided to join the delayed entry program to become a US Marine, the drumbeats of war touched both my husband and my heartbeats. That is when our lives changed. That is the beginning of when we lost Alex.



Brian was greatly impacted as well when his big brother went off to war. He lost his way. School skipping became secondary nature despite our calls every a.m. to wake him up for the bus. He was hanging out with the wrong crowd. He stopped hanging out with his father and myself as much.



Brian will tell you that he did what he wanted to do. However, I wonder how the lack of communication among three adults in his life (Mother, Father and myself) and constantly having to choose sides over the dumbest things impacted him and continues to impact him.