Morning - 08/25/2004

I woke up on August 25, 2004 remembering that it was my husband's 44th birthday. I took the card I had bought him and left it on his pillow. I also remembered that it was Wednesday and that I had to get to work early due to a new patient arriving at my job. I went into the bathroom and turned on NPR. The first thing I heard was that two Marines had been killed in Najaf, Iraq. I then turned off the radio, looked at myself in the mirror, and said, "No, I won't tell Carlos this news today." Alex was in Iraq and probably was in this area. I would wait to give Carlos the update, a morbid habit we both had announcing casualties one to the other. I showered and dresed.



My Mother in law had coffee and breakfast ready. The dogs had been walked. It was time to get going to the assisted living facility where I worked.



That morning I went to see one of my favorite patients in his room. His girlfriend was with him, a lady who was maybe twenty years his junior. He had the news on, not unusual for him. They spoke of the Iraq war. I was not facing them when they asked me my opinion. I stopped breathing at that moment. I told them I couldn't really answer the question since my stepson was over there and I simply was very afraid after hearing of the two casualties this morning.



I had to buy supplies that a.m. for the job; my husband and his Mom came by to take an old piece of equipment the owner wanted dumped; a clown was coming; my Mom came to see the clown; lunch was being served.



I decided to eat in my office that day when my cell phone rang. I thought that was odd. Only my family called me on that phone, and I had just seen them not even a couple of hours earlier. I didn't recognize the voice due to the person straining: "Me mataron a Chi-chi" the voice said twice. It was my husband telling me that "they had killed Alex." In a dreamlike state, I fell to the floor, dropped the phone and began to wail! I had never made a sound like that ever in my life. I repeated over and over in Spanish, "Me mataron mi bebe" or "they killed my baby."